


same old love

by 127ghouls



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: A Little Bit of Humor, Divorce, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Divorce, Romance, Sungjong is sassy and he hates Myungsoo but Myungsoo is hot so ;-)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 07:17:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16035620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/127ghouls/pseuds/127ghouls
Summary: sungjong finds an old diary and reads through his entries.





	same old love

**Author's Note:**

> i've been a fan of infinite for a long time, but this is the first time i'm writing for them (esp. myungjong).

Distress.

  
It was everything Sungjong felt at the moment and it had been from different reasons. One, he hated moving, especially when he had no one to help him move gigantic boxes of memoir that he was too lazy to segregate into ‘things I would keep’ and ‘shit I want to burn’ so he ended up dumping every single thing inside. Besides, he believed that some of these stuff would come in handy one day – like the torn teddy he never bothered to stitch. Why would he, it made him feel like stitching it back to perfection was like trying to keep a certain someone’s presence. Somehow. The teddy was adorable, to say the least and it already held some sentimental value. Something Sungjong also hated since there was the underlying fact that the sentimental value rooted from that certain someone yet again.

  
Stress.

  
Alright, back to the main topic. Second reason as to why he was feeling as if the heavens had been playing bowling and the pins were Sungjong, was because everything was back to zero. For years, he was used to the previous apartment – he knew where to go, where to reach even if blindfolded. It was home, even when the sole reason he even left the comfort of his family’s house willingly packed up and exited the door without sparing Sungjong a single glance. Myungsoo’s scent lingered for a long time even after he walked out of Sungjong’s life, like it was imprinted and meant to never let Sungjong forget about him. Which entirely sucked, to be quite honest. Sungjong succeeded in getting rid of the smell with a change of fabric softener and powdered detergent.

  
Since he found the courage to leave everything behind and transfer to a new apartment, getting used to the new vibe and color of the walls, interior design and space would be a pain in the butt. He also had new neighbors, which meant pretending to be friendly while he knocked on a few doors to give them his baked cookies. He could do that. He could be a two-faced bitch if he wanted to. Getting new pieces of furniture and having them delivered irked him as well, he trusted no shipping service ever since that incident where he bought Byul, his ex husband’s cat a new basket bed and he waited for a whole month, only to be told that the item was received by his neighbor and he was never informed of it. Best believe, Sungjong made it clear on Facebook that his neighbor was a pet merchandise thief. Dongwoo never denied it.

  
Third. Because despite of the negativity, Sungjong loved ~~his~~ their previous place. Moving to a new apartment meant starting anew, and although this had been what he wanted to do, some of the memories back in that place were too good to be forgotten. Despite Myungsoo breaking his promises and leaving, that place was where it all started, where all their dreams started. Only for them to be shattered in the same apartment later on.

  
And all of these gave Sungjong a headache akin to a flu coming up. He pushed the last box inside and kicked the door close, groaning in relief since he wasn’t going to come out and get anything anymore. So much for getting new neighbors. He saw a few of them peeking through the window only to watch him suffer alone carrying those boxes using his stick skinny arms.

  
“Alright. Two hours before lunch. I guess I can start arranging what I can do now.” Crouching down he started rummaging through one box, finding only unnecessary stuff in there. He pulled out the photo albums and placed them on the center table, one of the few furniture already set in the new apartment. He found more things he didn’t think he would need such as bamboo utensils (which he should’ve put together with the bowls and cups), a smaller box the size of a shoe box containing receipts of any thing he had bought in the past and online shopping bills, a backpack and a diary.

  
_The diary._ “Huh.” Sungjong took it out and wiped away the imaginary dust on its black leather cover before sitting on the floor. Suddenly, he was reminded of the days he used to write down his feelings in this small notebook, and feeling rather curious about the stupid thoughts he had written, Sungjong wasted no time in opening the diary to scan his entries.

  
Honestly, he expected better. Better in a sense that he would read something about deeper things in life that bothered him but diary entry number one talked about his day in the university when a classmate accidentally spilled a chemical mixture on his lab gown and to his surprise, Sungjong knocked the flask and broke it. He was forced to pay for the damage and his classmate wasn’t, since the chemical could be redone anyway. Sungjong remembered buying a _Death Note_ the next week to scribble that classmate’s name on the paper, added with the specific time and manner of death. He knew it was evil, but Sungjong got short of allowance because of that failed experiment. He got even more broke because of the _Death Note_ but he had to release his anger in some way. He was disappointed as fuck when the next day, his classmate entered the room with the biggest grin on his dumb face.

  
“Why are you glaring at Sungyeol?” Woohyun had whispered with a nudge. Sungyeol had the audacity to wave at Sungjong and greet him a high pitched good morning. There was nothing good about that day. It was already ruined.

  
“I’m not glaring at him.” Sungjong snorted and picked up a book, opening it on a random page. The book covered half of his face, emphasizing his glare which never left Sungyeol, by the way. Woohyun’s eyes shifted between the two who were having a one-sided silent war before he poked Sungjong, making the latter squeak.

  
“I’m ticklish, you asshole!”

  
“Shut up, there’s a new guy.”

  
There entered someone who showed up in Chemistry class for the first time. Even in university, their class was like in high school, whoever your classmates were on the first day on the first subject, they would be your classmates until the end of the semester. Which killed the excitement since Sungjong wanted to be able to go to different classes and meet new people. Because of that system in their university, it was confirmed the guy standing in front was new. It had been the third week, and Sungjong wondered why the guy was three weeks too late.

  
Which lead Sungjong to the next diary entry. The first one ended with a question regarding the new guy’s identity that the second entry answered. Sungjong read through it, not noticing the smile that etched itself on his face as he read about his first time meeting Myungsoo. Myungsoo was assigned to sit at the back for that class. Everyone was curious about Myungsoo, including Sungjong, of course. The guy was quiet and seemed the type to keep to himself. It was proven days later on the next diary entries as Sungjong wrote about his observation of the person being talked about. Myungsoo easily slipped into different circles of friends, and for a second Sungjong felt envious of the other’s ability to get along with people easily. Sungjong was a people person, too. But Myungsoo was a magnet. He attracted people without doing much.

  
His phone glowed as a message came in and Sungjong took note of the time. Arguably, he could be eating right now since he skipped breakfast to move as soon as possible to the new apartment but he didn’t really feel hungry. The diary was keeping him entertained and occupied to think about putting something in his stomach.

  
Flipping to the next pages, the other entries were random but still revolved around Myungsoo. Sungjong sighed. Myungsoo became his world in such a short period of time without him realizing it. He wrote about the first time they talked when they got assigned to be partners for a project, much to university student Sungjong’s delight. He had developed a little crush on the other and he was nothing short of happy on cloud 9 during the times they went out to do the project. Myungsoo was nice, he made sure to ask Sungjong about anything. Sungjong wasn’t sure if the other was genuinely interested or he was just doing it to break the ice. Both were acceptable anyway.

  
He wasn’t sure when they had exchanged numbers but the next entries were already talking about them being too comfortable with each other, texting each other until the wee hours of the night made both of them sacrifice sleep. Sungjong was reminded of the time Myungsoo dozed off in class and Mrs. Han rolled a paper and hit Myungsoo’s head with it, kicking him out after. He wouldn’t forget the look of a literally kicked puppy on Myungsoo’s face when the other dragged his bag outside and stood pathetically in the hallway.

  
He must have taken a break because diary entry number 22 was of them on their cinema date. Myungsoo asked him out not long ago and Sungjong agreed to go with him on a date. It was a horror movie, but Sungjong didn’t even remember the title because all throughout, Myungsoo snuggled next to him and the only things he could remember about the movie were the opening and ending credits. Myungsoo was clingy, but Sungjong loved it. He felt loved. They also shared their first kiss on that day, when Myungsoo, the gentleman that he was dropped Sungjong off and stole a kiss on the lips. He clearly expected to be slapped, but Sungjong only blushed and bid him good night. Not too long later, they agreed to live together at Myungsoo’s place.

  
The diary continued to be filled up with memories Sungjong didn’t want to bury underground. They contained some of the sweetest, and he almost felt his tooth aching. His face hurt from smiling wide, they were definitely young, dumb and broke back then. Sungjong had a part-time job, while Myungsoo focused on studies. His then boyfriend, and eventually husband’s family was well-off. Sungjong had to earn money while studying to be able to get by.

  
He believed their relationship was steady. On their graduation day, Sungjong had the surprise of his life when Myungsoo ran off the stage after claiming his diploma to steal the show by getting down on one knee in front of Sungjong who was lining up to get called onstage, with a silver ring asking him _the question._ He didn’t even notice how loud the auditorium was when he answered yes, because Myungsoo had sliipped the ring on his finger and hugged him, peppering his face with kisses.

  
Mark his words on the diary, that day ended with Sungjong stark naked under the sheets with Myungsoo just as bare, sweaty and in deep slumber next to him. He had discovered that night that Myungsoo was the type to collapse right after sex. It wasn’t much of a problem, but sometimes he wished the man took time to do some aftercare and cuddle him. It was now a wishful thinking.

  
The diary entries slowed down. Sungjong failed to notice how time quickly passed, reminiscing memories that should’ve been forgotten but chosen to be kept. Perhaps they rushed things and they didn’t think through about the seriousness of marriage and of wedded life, because the things Sungjong read next were nothing but conflicts and misunderstandings. They had a fair number of good times that ended too soon because Sungjong was insecure and Myungsoo never bothered to assure him that he had nothing to worry about.

  
Myungsoo was too attractive for his own good. Sungjong knew he should’ve put more faith in his husband but Myungsoo was a nonchalant person, saying Sungjong’s worries were trivial. It went on for a few more nights, with Sungjong sleeping on the bed alone, clueless of his then husband’s whereabouts. Myungsoo never cheated. But to think that he was the one who proposed, he had the guts to act like a bachelor, while someone was waiting for him at home with a dying heart. When Sungjong voiced it out, Myungsoo was quick to snap. He had always been quick-tempered, but it was the first time he shouted, disregarding Sungjong’s emotions.

  
They weren’t ready for marriage. And as impulsive as they were to get married, signing the divorce papers was as easy.

  
Sungjong scanned through the entry, rewinding the day they filed for divorce. Their families were shocked, to say the least. It was completely unexpected, for crying out loud. They were only a few months into their marriage and it was crumbling down, just because Sungjong fed his insecurities and Myungsoo was too comfortable to ease the monsters away. They thought it was easier to go their separate ways than to mend things because Myungsoo said, maybe it wasn’t meant to be. _What an asshole._ But Sungjong still loved him nonetheless.

  
The divorce was granted a year later. In between waiting, they continued living together, agreeing to be civil. They could count on both hands the number of times they talked, asking where this thing was, _hey, Sungjong I’m coming home late, don’t stay up._ Sungjong stopped waiting for Myungsoo the night the latter snapped at him. He cared for his ex husband, but Sungjong had a bit of pride left in him.

  
When Myungsoo walked out, bags in hands and a last good bye, Sungjong finally broke down and allowed himself to be weaker than he already was.

  
He touched the trace of teardrops that dried up long ago on the diary. It was the last entry. Sungjong had stopped tattooing the memories on a piece of paper. It wasn’t worth it. It took him some time to move on and build the courage to find a new house. Maybe he should’ve just saved those money he used to buy detergent powder to erase Myungsoo’s scent all over the apartment. Why Myungsoo left his own place, Sungjong didn’t know. He should’ve been the one to pack up and return to his family, but Myungsoo seemed too eager to get out of his life.

  
It had been a long time, and the diary contained more pain than happiness.

  
“Wow, it was a wild ride.” Sungjong chuckled and closed the diary, ready to put it somewhere as he stood up when an envelope slipped out of it.

  
Now, he couldn’t remember getting a letter. He wasn’t the type to write letters. Hell, everything was electronic and sending literal mails was a disgrace to the digital age. Some people still did write letters, but Sungjong would never understand why, when everything right now should be easier than straining your hands writing a mail.

  
For the deeper value?

  
Curiosity killed the cat, he picked it up and flipped it over, raising a brow when it finally dawned on him. His ex husband sent him an invitation – and it wasn’t just a simple invitation. It was for a wedding. Kim _fucking_ Myungsoo was about to get married for the second time.

  
Did he really have to do it? What reaction was he expecting to get from Lee Sungjong, the former husband? Whatever Myungsoo was planning, Sungjong was sure it was nothing but to insult him. Myungsoo could be offensive if he wanted to. But was he succeeding? Definitely not. Myungsoo must have thought they would be friends again, or acquaintances at least after the break up. Sungjong forgot the reason why he kept the invitation. He wondered how thick-skinned Myungsoo had gotten for the past years to do this. Feelings? Huh. Sungjong had nothing to lose. He had completely moved on. At least that was what he thought.

  
Sungjong RSVP-ed.

 

 

 

The wedding was not until a month later, so Sungjong had enough time to pick out the best outfit he could show up in on that day. There was dress code, of course. But he didn’t let that hinder his choice of fashion. They were asked to wear anything semi-formal and the color should be a dark shade of red. White was getting too common, and it wasn’t like all brides thought a white, flowy gown was the best choice. So red it was. And Sungjong handed the invitation at the entrance carrying himself in the color of crimson blood. Well, he could say he was out for some blood, but vendetta didn’t suit him. 

Myungsoo’s family instantly recognized him, and Sungjong expected it to be awkward. Nothing of that sort happened, though. They were all smiles and hugs, asking about his life. Sungjong had nothing glamorous and exciting to tell. He was still an office worker but less stressed. His ex mother-in-law’s smile faltered.

  
“I’m sorry, Sungjong. We missed you, actually.”

  
He prayed that his smile looked genuine enough. Whoever that ‘we’ who missed him, he didn’t want to know.

  
The church was big and there weren’t much witnesses. Sungjong frowned when he couldn’t spot Myungsoo. Sure, the groom should be in front. But the tension building up inside the church was telling him that there was something more to it than him not spotting Myungsoo since the moment he arrived. Myungsoo shouldn’t be obliged to welcome him, but he invited Sungjong with the courage of a thousand men. He should’ve at least said hi.

  
It clicked on him that the wedding wouldn’t push through when the bride arrived and the groom was nowhere to be found. Myungsoo’s mother claimed he was there earlier, talking to the guests. They didn’t really pay attention when the other disappeared. Sungjong watched as the bride sat on a chair with the bridesmaids fanning her. It looked like she would crumble right there and then.

  
“Are we going to wait for the groom?”

  
Sungjong scoffed at the sight of the priest. It was the same one who officiated their wedding. Myungsoo was freaking shameless. Did he change parishes? And why was he thinking of this right now?

  
“Ma’am, I think I’ll go now. Best wishes, still.”

  
He exited the church with a curse under his breath. What a waste of an outfit.

 

 

 

If Sungjong thought that was the worst that could happen on that day, then _voila_ , it wasn’t! He should’ve changed everything when Myungsoo left, including his contact number. 

Now, he found himself sitting inside a coffee shop playing soft, mellow music, and in front of him was none other than Kim Myungsoo in all his ~~perfect~~ glory. Sungjong wouldn’t say it out loud, and wouldn’t admit it, first of all. He could already feel the pounding headache. At least the coffee here’s good.

  
“Sorry about that, I got cold feet.”

  
Certainly, it shouldn’t be Sungjong that he had to apologize to. Their discord had been settled.

  
“Why are you saying sorry _to me?_ And why did you want to see me?” Sungjong gripped the handle of the cup and had the urge to splash the scorching hot drink at Myungsoo. He blamed the turmoil in his chest. His ex shouldn’t be looking _that_ good after leaving him and ghosting his soon-to-be-wife. But Sungjong was only human, and humans are attracted to beautiful things. Why would he deny it? Myungsoo was attractive. Until now.

  
Myungsoo sighed and reached for the collar of his shirt to rub it with his fingers, a habit he picked up whenever feeling uncomfortable. Sungjong’s eyes squinted. What was there to be uncomfortable of?

  
“Well, I invited you but the wedding got cancelled. You went there for nothing. You spent gas money to travel somewhere you didn’t stay in for a long time. I wasted your time. So yeah, sorry. And I called you because I wanted to tell you why I disappeared.”

  
“Shouldn’t you be discussing this with your almost wife? Or do I matter more than her?”

  
Myungsoo visibly winced at the biting tone. Damn it, he shouldn’t look good while uncomfortable!

  
“I talked to all of them before coming here. It’s over. She doesn’t want to see me, her family hates me. My family almost stripped me off my rights to the company. But I explained to them what I’m about to explain to you.”

  
Sungjong‘s heart started beating rapidly. He didn’t like where the talk was going.

  
“She’s an employee at the company. My secretary. She was there when…when we fell apart. I found comfort in her and I thought I could go on with someone new. Well, look at what happened. I fooled myself thinking I could replace you. Sungjong, I didn’t move on, I couldn’t, and I won’t.”

  
Too bad, the coffee had cooled down. Sungjong really wanted to splash it on Myungsoo’s face. He was livid, furious, everything was churning in his chest.

  
“Somehow, that’s hard to believe. You didn’t have a problem signing the divorce papers and leaving me alone that night, crying myself to sleep thinking why I wasn’t good enough to make you realize that I was supposed to be a part of your life, and you weren’t a bachelor in demand anymore. Tell me, Myungsoo. Why didn’t you care enough to feel that way for me before?”

  
No, he wouldn’t cry. He ran out of tears and he wouldn’t be shedding more for the same man who drained him of emotions.

  
Myungsoo tore his gaze away and glanced out the window. It was drizzling, and people were sprinting here and there to avoid the rain.

  
“I was selfish. I married you because I felt like you wouldn’t stay for a long time, and marriage would lock you down. I did it out of impulse, and I didn’t think through of the things that would change after getting married. Our lifestyle took a drastic change and I guess I wasn’t ready for it.” He finally met Sungjong’s eyes again, and Myungsoo swore his own heart clenched so painfully at the sight of a vulnerable Sungjong. His ex husband was too stubborn to appear weak, but Sungjong never had the talent to cover the truth in his eyes.

  
“I didn’t trust you enough, and I now understand your insecurities then –“

  
“I wasn’t fucking insecure.”

  
“Sungjong.”

  
Sungjong scowled and grabbed a napkin to wipe at his eyes. There was no hiding it anymore. They both knew he was going to cry.

  
“Twisted reasons, I had. I married you because I loved you too much and I didn’t want to give you a way to leave me, but I left you in the end. I just…I was a coward. I thought I could replace you. I’m gonna be shameless now – I still love you.”

  
The laugh that emitted from himself was the last reaction Sungjong anticipated. “And you expect me to forgive you? There’s nothing to forgive. I let you go because that’s what you wanted. This is our first time seeing each other after what, two? Three years? Don’t tell me you want to hear me say I still love you, too.”

  
Sungjong swore his mind short-circuited and his heart beat erratically. Fuck. He wasn’t supposed to feel all of that old love coming back to hit him like a fucking truck.

  
“Honestly, I wished you would say that.”

  
“Well fuck you, I’m not saying it.”

  
The feet of the chair screeched against the floor as Sungjong stood up to walk out of the coffee shop. He was meters away when Myungsoo held his arm, stopping him from walking further away.

  
“Sungjong, please.”

  
There was a sick satisfaction curling in his guts when he sensed the pleading and frustration from Myungsoo. Call him a sadist, but he didn’t want to be the one hurting again.

  
“What do you want from me? Who gave you the right to make me feel like this again, you stinky monkey?!” Yeah, that was the best insult he could throw at Myungsoo’s face. Brilliant. “You think you can waltz back in my life like nothing happened and expect me to fall in your arms again? You’re still dumb as hell, you know that? You’re all handsomeness and no brain at all!”

  
Did he just. Sungjong ignored the passersby and pulled his arm out of his ex’s hold. He pretended not to coo a little inside at Myungsoo’s kicked puppy eyes.

  
“You think you can get me back just because you pushed a button in me and all my love for you are coming back like a freaking waterfall?! Joke’s on you, Kim Myungsoo.”

  
Myungsoo’s eyes lowered to the ground and a sigh escaped his lips.

  
“Right. I’m so-“

  
“And joke’s on me because I fucking love you still and I’m willing to take you back and start again, if you promise not to be a shitty person anymore. Are you listening to me?! Say something!”

  
Sungjong gripped Myungsoo’s shirt and shook the other out of trance. That did the trick, because the next thing he knew, he was being lifted off the ground and spun around, with Myungsoo kissing his face and telling him ‘I love you’ like a broken record. A broken record Sungjong didn’t want to fix.

  
Call him stupid, but the thing he didn’t write in his diary was how he prayed for nights for Myungsoo to come back. Sungjong didn’t say he wouldn’t get mad, though. He should be giving Myungsoo a harder time. But what was the point of it if all he wanted as well was to have his ex back in his life?

 

 

 

Sungjong shifted his weight on either foot. The glare from the priest was unnerving and even though he wasn’t the recipient of looks that could kill, he might as well feel attacked from how intense it was. Next to him, Myungsoo grinned sheepishly.

“I’m...hi, it’s me, again. For the third time.”

  
The scoff echoed throughout the church.

  
“And this better be your last, in Jesus’ name.”

  
“Amen.”

  
Sungjong felt like getting swallowed whole by the ground. At least this time, he knew they would be together for a longer time, and things would be done right.

 

 

 

He put a period on the paper and yawned, stretching his arms out to get rid of the kinks. Sungjong let out an unpleasant shriek when arms wrapped around him from behind and Myungsoo bent a little to kiss him on the cheek. 

“You’re writing on your diary again?”

  
Prying out of his husband’s hold, Sungjong put the diary inside the drawer and tugged Myungsoo to bed, immediately curling against the other. Sleeping with relaxing warmth next to him was definitely better than sleeping alone.

  
“I want more happy memories to read when we get old.”

  
“I’ll make sure to give you that, then.”

  
A soft hum was what Myungsoo got before Sungjong fell asleep on his chest, all soft snores and drool on the corner of his mouth.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!


End file.
